Money Musings 💭 A teachable moment (for me)
What you’ll find below:
Reflection: A lesson in over-apologizing
Money Move: Reconnect with your spending
You Gotta See This: Moms’ Equal Pay Day
Reel of the Week: A $$$ party trick you may not know about
The other day I was pushing the stroller along the sidewalk with my oldest son, E.
Someone stopped to let us pass because the sidewalk was too narrow for us both to fit. I said "sorry!" as we walked by.
My son then asked, "Mom, why did you apologize? You’re allowed to take up space on the sidewalk."
Wow. 🤯 He was right.
I explained that it’s important to apologize when you do something wrong or make a mistake but that he was right. I’m allowed to take up space on the sidewalk. That sometimes I over apologize and it’s something I’m working on.
As we continued walking, we brainstormed some others things I could say instead of sorry and came up with "excuse me" and "thank you." I got a few chances to practice before we got home.
As parents there is often this pressure to have it all figured out and to teach our kids important life lessons, but sometimes the biggest lessons are in seeing what we do when we aren’t great at something. How we handle it when we're trying to figure something out ourselves. 🤗 Sometimes the best lesson is when we let them teach us.
What have you learned from the kids in your life and what are some career / money lessons you’ve taught your parents?
P.S. If you’re an over-apologizer too, we can cheer each other on. Here’s a list of alternatives when you feel like apologizing.
MONEY MOVE OF THE WEEK
RECONNECT WITH YOUR SPENDING.
Most of us have no idea where our money is going - and we don’t want to look because we’re afraid of what we might find. 🙈
Technology makes it so easy for us to remain in the dark. When I first started keeping a money journal, I was shocked to see how much I spent on dining out. 🍳 Although I loved the time with my friends, I would have rather spent SOME of that on something else.
Keeping a money journal allows us to know exactly where our money is going. It’s about awareness. If we don’t like what we see, we can make adjustments so that we’re spending our money on the things we love and enjoy most!
Keep it simple: start by writing down everything you spend along with what it costs in a notebook, the notes on your phone, or in my free template.
If you want more support in making money moves to reach your financial goals and destress your money life, check out my new limited time 1:1 offering here.
YOU GOTTA SEE THIS
FAIR PLAY UPDATE.
In honor of Moms’ Equal Pay Day, I thought it was only fitting to share a division of labor update from our own home.
Since reading Fair Play (read where I share how I got 3 hours back per week), we have been keeping up with our weekly check-ins. This has really helped for a bunch of reasons. Mainly:
We take a look at what’s happening in the upcoming week so no balls get dropped (and fall on the default parent). Some inevitably do get dropped regardless (but fewer!)
We adjust who takes which card (responsibility) based on what’s going on that week
We talk about how the past week felt and what each of us needs (as far as help, support, time, etc.). Kind of like a - what’s working and what could be better check-in
As an example, J’s company just changed their policy so he’ll be going into the office 3x per week (instead of two). That means an additional solo morning of getting the kids ready for school, pickups and anything in between. We brainstormed things he (and I) can do to make that load lighter.
If you haven't read it (or watched it), I can’t recommend Eve Rodsky’s book and method enough. It’s completely changed how we run our home and it’s great improved all of our lives (and our relationship).
It’s not perfect and we’re always working against the backdrop of a society where the mom is the default parent, plus I have more flexibility, but we’re making moves and it’s getting better and better. To be continued!
your weekly money wins
Here are all the amazing money moves you made this week 👏👏👏
Babs C: Purchased your book to learn more. One step at a time...
Kate P: Negotiated my husband's new job contract to include paying off MY student loans 💪🏻
Emily M: Leaving my deadbeat husband
Brit L: Invested $8k in my side hustle
Ay N: I grocery shopped at lidl instead of a larger grocery store and saved so much $. 🤌🏻
Rebekah: Got a pay rise and set up direct debit for it each pay day to savings
Audra: Officially have a positive net worth
Stephanie B: Meeting friends at parks for potluck lunches & kids playtime. I also researched apps & reflected before purchasing.
Priscilla: Worked an extra shift to go on a trip rather than dip into savings
Melissa B: Sold 4 "NIB" Barbies from my storage, that mean nothing to me. Will invest this week.
Ariel F: Covid saves money cuz you can't leave really
Rachel: Got a raise, and upped my 401K contribution 1%
Hannah: Opened a HYS and Roth IRA - set up regular payments to both
Kate: Got a 3.8% raise 😃