Money Musings š How I got 3 hours back per weekā¦
Quick recap for you -
In the U.S., women perform 4 hours of unpaid labor per day compared to menās 2.5 hours.
Thatās almost 11 extra hours per week, 45 hours per month, and almost 550 hours per year. This only gets worse for breadwinning women. What?! I knowā¦
A recent study found that when women are the breadwinners in a heterosexual relationship they take on MORE of the labor at home.
This means less time for our careers (and less headspace for them!), sleep, self-care, health and fun.
So a few months ago J and I dug in and got to work on better dividing up the unpaid labor at home. We started by doing an unpaid labor audit - a list of everything we do and how long it takes in a spreadsheet. š
That was a great start (we found that I was doing 8% more) and things felt a bit more balanced. But afterward, there was definitely a tit for tat kind of feeling between us and I realized that a lot of the emotional and invisible labor I was doing was still unaccounted for.
Then something amazing happenedā¦
I gave a keynote at the Live Nation Womenās Summit in Palm Springs (a dream!) back in November. Eve Rodksy spoke after me and I had the opportunity to watch her talk. I laughed and cried and immediately purchased and devoured her book Fair Play.
Over the last couple of months J and I have been implementing her system. It's a process that has taken us time and lots of adjusting (not unlike implementing new financial habits!) but it was exactly what we needed.
Her Fair Play cards included all the invisible labor our original plan was missing. For example, Iām the one who answers the hard questions from the kids. When E asks where babies come from or wants to know more about death, Iām the one finding the books, doing the research, and managing those conversations.
Eve taught us that when someone takes on a task card they have to OWN it. That means they own the conception, planning AND execution of said task. That gets rid of the nagging and the mental load that comes with.
She also had us talk about our minimum standard of care for each task. That means we decide as a couple what our standards are for each card so that we donāt have different expectations of what needs to be done.
Now we check in on Sundays and go through each card. What needs to get done? Should we swap any cards? It sets the tone for the week. Weāve also made our cards very visible and they sit on our fridge.
E was inspired by it so he made his own tasks like "kiss my bed" and "ring bell." š It's a family affair!
OK, thatās my update! How do you handle unpaid labor? Do you use a system that works? Iād love to hear!
MONEY MOVE OF THE WEEK
MAP OUT YOUR MEDICAL EXPENSES FOR 2023.
One area of our budgets that can feel pretty unpredictable yet significant, is our health and medical costs. š„ How can we possibly know when weāll hit our deductible and what our medical expenses will look like?
Hereās how I do it:
Know your deductible. This is the amount of money youāll have to pay out of pocket before your health insurance starts paying for bills. Given weāre a family of four with weekly therapy and occupational therapy bills, we hit our deductible early on. Others might typically go through the year without hitting this number.
What happens after you hit your deductible? For many, once you hit your deductible thereās coinsurance. Meaning, your health insurance covers 80% of the cost (or insert your %) and you pay the remainder (20% in this case). I know that my weekly therapy will cost $160 until I hit my deductible and then it will cost $32 ($160 x 20%) until I hit my in-network maximum out of pocket. (let's call it "in-network max" for short).
Know your max out of pocket numbers. Your in-network max is the most youāll pay for in-network medical expenses in a year and the out-of-network max is the most youāll pay for out of network. If you commonly hit your max, thatās what youāll budget for each year. If you donāt itās still an important number to know as a worst case scenario (think emergency fund!).
Map out your medical expenses. There might be some medical expenses you can plan for - i.e. therapy, PT, a planned surgery, or have any regularly scheduled appointments. You can start by planning to pay for each item in full until your total reaches the deductible. It looks like weāll reach ours in March and then our coinsurance will kick in. This doesnāt have to be exact but itās helpful to have an idea.
Take a look at last yearās expenses to see if there is anything you missed. If you end up paying $150 each year at the eye doctor, youāll want to factor that in.
Donāt forget your HSA or FSA. If you participate in a flexible spending account or health savings account youāll want to account for those reimbursements in your budget. For example, if youāre single and contribute the max to your HSA, you might want to leave some in (yes, tax-advantaged investment growth! š„³) but you might also want to use some to lessen the burden of these expenses. If you plan to use $1,000 from the account, add in a line for reimbursements to your budget.
YOU GOTTA SEE THIS
CELEBRATE BLACK HISTORY MONTH.
Black History Month is a wonderful opportunity to celebrate the incredible contributions and history of the Black community. For non-Black folks itās also an opportunity to educate ourselves and continue to recommit to doing the work.
Celebrate Black History Month with these amazing events and resources:
Attend an event.
Black History Month Virtual Festival - Association for the Study of African American Life and History
A Space for Us All - National Museum of African American History and Culture and NASA
Sunday Night Black History - Events Collection by Melaneyes Media
If you have other events you're hosting / attending, please hit reply and let me know. I'll continue to share them.
Support a Black-owned business. You shared some of your favorites here! Hit reply to add to the list.
Check out one (or many) of these movies.
Support Black authors and creators (here are some of our favorite personal finance creators!).
Learn about history.
Four Hundred Souls: A Community History of African America edited by Ibram X. Kendi and Keisha N. Blain
A Child's Introduction to African American History: The Experiences, People, and Events That Shaped Our Country by Jabari Asim
Beloved by Toni Morrison
Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison