Money Musings 💭 the things I’m NOT doing this year 👋
Last week we talked about the power of voting with our money. This week I want to talk about a form of activism that takes even less work. Intriguing, right?
I’m talking about the act of NOT doing something. I had a conversation this week about the expectations of hosting. Women, much more than men, feel pressure to have their apartment look like it is right out of a Pottery Barn catalog when people come over.
Is it because we’re all closet interior designers? NO! It’s because studies show that women are negatively judged when they’re home is messy.
When we forget to bring a gift to a birthday party or we forget to write a thank you note, who do you think people are harder on? You guessed it! Women.
Women are now working as much as - if not more than - men, yet we are still responsible for all of these extra things. We know this, and it’s frustrating. 🤬
From Claire Cain Miller of the New York Times, “The additional time that women spend on unpaid household labor is a root of gender inequality — it influences how men and women relate at home, and how much time women spend on paid work.”
So in the words of Tiffany Dufu, I’m dropping the ball. I will no longer furiously tidy before I have company. You might have already noticed the messes in the background of my Instagram stories. 😂 I’m going to send thank you texts or emails instead of handwritten notes (yay for the environment, too).
People are going to judge me. But f’em. I’m building a business, raising a global citizen, and trying to have some fun in the meantime.
I’ll also be modeling a different paradigm for Eli and anyone else who’s watching. These stereotypes start when our children are young, and research shows that “when mothers work for pay and fathers do household chores, their sons become adults who spend more time on housework.”
What are some of the things you won’t be doing in 2020 as a form of activism and/or self-care?
Money Move of the Week
Play the Money Game. How it works: choose the number you want to spend each week on variable things like food, transit, shopping, etc. Make sure to give yourself some room to be realistic. Let’s say you choose $250. Then, track your spending and total it up at the end of the week. How far did you come in under your goal? Let’s say it totals $200. You won $50 in the Money Game! Now you get to decide where that goes. You might put $50 towards a goal, like paying down debt or building your rainy day fund. You may decide to split it 50/50 - $25 goes toward your #1 goal and $25 goes toward something fun in the short term. Do whatever is most motivating for you. If you don't want to (or don’t remember) track your spending, you can set up a Money Game “salary” to transfer to a separate bank account. You can use that account’s debit card and automatically know where you stand in the Money Game.
You Gotta See This
Your guide to holiday tipping. If you’re anything like me, this time of year, you’re making a list of service providers you’d like to tip or give gifts to, and it can be difficult to know how much to give. This holiday tipping guide from Emily Post is filled with really helpful guidelines and perspective. I also love that she talks about making it all work with our budgets!