Money Musings đź’ People pleasing money fails
What you’ll find below:
Reflection: Avoiding discomfort costs us money
Money Move: A New Year's planning series begins
You Gotta See This: Your holiday tipping guide
Reel of the Week: A fun way to gift and save
Each week I feature our community fails (including my own) via #FinancialFailFridays on Instagram.
You might be wondering why I celebrate our fails each week. 🤔 A few reasons.
First, it helps us feel less alone. Because money is not something we talk about, even with our closest friends and family, and we are often left feeling like we’re the only ones who don’t have it all figured out. When we see that others are making mistakes, it normalizes it.
We see that we’re all figuring this out together.
Also, when we share the mistakes we make, it can prevent others from making the same ones. It’s a win-win.
After a couple of months of financial blunders, I have noticed a common thread among a bunch of our fails.
Trying to avoid feeling uncomfortable can have a negative impact on our financial lives and our peace of mind.
It might tie back to people pleasing, not being sure how someone will respond, cultural norms or not valuing our own self worth, but here’s how it manifests:
Feeling too embarrassed to remind the salesperson that an item on our bills was actually on sale
Buying something just because we feel bad that the salesperson spent time helping us - even when we don’t want it or can’t afford it
Not wanting to bother someone with an incorrect charge
Treating for dinner when we didn’t intend to
It shows up in different ways but the result is the same.
We really don’t want to feel uncomfortable. And it’s costing us money.
While I don’t have a quick fix, I have 3 steps that can help us turn this habit around.
BECOME AWARE.
Sometimes we don’t even want to admit to ourselves that we made a choice to avoid feeling uncomfortable. We might pretend it’s what we actually wanted. It’s easy to rationalize it away. But when we aren’t aware, there’s nothing we can do about it. So get curious and notice where this comes up.
2. PLAN IN ADVANCE.Before you go into the store, decide how you will evaluate if you’d like to make a purchase. Or before having dinner with a friend, decide how you want to handle the bill.
3. PRACTICE BEING UNCOMFORTABLE
This might not be fun but I promise it gets easier. Implement the plan you made in step #2 or make a goal of doing something that’s uncomfortable at least once per week. It can be your dare of the day.
Request the discount. Leave the store without buying something. Ask a question when you’re not sure.
Have you experienced this type of discomfort avoidance in your money life? Hit reply and let me know! I’d love to hear your stories.
P.S. My friend Jamila's new book - Your Journey to Financial Freedom - just launched. It's all about finding the balance between enjoying life and achieving financial independence (yes please!). Check it out!
MONEY MOVE OF THE WEEK
NEW YEAR’S PLANNING SERIES - STEP 1: A 2023 SPENDING RECAP.
December is the perfect time to do some prep and planning so that you can kick off 2024 in a powerful way. Over the next four weeks I’ll be taking you through one step you can take each week to get ready for the New Year.
Before we plan for next year, I like to look backward. Why? If we don’t take the time to review what happened, we’ll miss out on opportunities to make 2024 better and more aligned with what we truly want.
Take some time to recap. Here’s how:
Look at your 2023 spending by category. If you have monthly money parties and/or keep up with a spending plan, this will be ready to go. If you don’t, start with one month and work your way up.
Were there areas you didn’t plan to spend or areas you spent more than expected?
What spending was worth it to you and what spending would you prefer not to repeat this year (no judgment and no wrong answers!)?
Is there an expense you’d like to add this coming year that you didn’t spend on last year? What expenses could you let go of to make room for this, if any?
If doing this all yourself feels overwhelming, I recommend Facet. With Facet you get to work directly with a CFP® professional to create a comprehensive financial plan for an affordable membership fee.
Head to facet.com/ashley to set up your free call. You can also check your financial wellness score via a fun and informative quiz.
Here’s to a financially savvy 2024! 🎉
Sponsored by Facet. Facet Wealth, Inc. (“Facet”) is an SEC registered investment adviser headquartered in Baltimore, Maryland. This is not an offer to sell securities. This is not investment, financial, legal, or tax advice. Past performance is not a guarantee of future performance."
you Gotta See This
YOUR HOLIDAY TIPPING GUIDE.
During the holidays I always have multiple exchanges with friends about holiday tipping and gifts. What’s generous? What’s typical? How much is this going to cost? 💰
It can be difficult to know how much to give. This holiday tipping guide from Emily Post is filled with really helpful guidelines. You know I love how she talks about making it all work within our budgets.
I also loved this article specific to NYC. Reading through it reminded me of people I might have forgotten to include in my holiday budget.
I know tipping has changed a lot over the past couple of years. See how others are tipping on everything else in our tipping etiquette survey.
your weekly money wins
Here are all the amazing money moves you made this week đź‘Źđź‘Źđź‘Ź
CA: Attended a holiday craft fair as a vendor and made some sales selling handmade jewelry from my small business
Renee: Moved 15k in cash out of a low rate savings account into a 3 month certificate at 4.889%
Phoenix A: Rental collection rolled off the credit so we can move!
Danielle A: Paid off a CC and rolled some old retirement into a back door Roth before the deadline!
Sarah: Got paid for my first consulting gig this week! Was so nervous but it went great!
Stewardess: Cooked at home 2x in 1 day!
Jessica M: Paid off our credit card debit!
Nicole: 2023 was the first year I maxed out my 401k contributions 🎉
Alli: I'm done Christmas shopping and not only was I under budget but my sinking fund covered it all!
Rachel: Not my move, but my company announced a 401k match increase starting in 2024 👏🏼
Maggie: I paid off (again lol) my student loans!!!!