Money Musings 💭 the sneakiest thing we do 😏
In February, we’re bombarded with love stuff. You know what I mean – the pink 💖 and red, the overpriced chocolate 🍫, and commercials with doting partners gifting extravagant surprises.
But the truth is, (I know you know this…) our most important relationship is with ourselves. Many of us aren’t always kind to this all-important person. Here’s a sneaky way we do it…
Have you ever felt like you were trying SO hard to move forward in your money life but keep running up against a big immovable brick wall? Me too. 🙋 And it’s exhausting.
This happened to me (one time of many!) a few years into my money journey. I was doing so many of the right things. I had my happiness allocation set up (aka my spending plan), I was tracking my spending, and I even had some automatic transfers set up to my savings account and my 401(k). Despite all of that, something always came up and I ended up right back where I started.
I was trying really hard, but I always ended up stressed about money at the end of the month. It felt like I kept just scraping by.
Little did I know that despite all that effort, I was actually keeping myself stuck. It might sound odd, but I was subconsciously making choices based on what I had in my bank account. Miraculously and not surprisingly, I spent everything I had in there each and every month. Sometimes down to the cent. 😐
Why? I was self-sabotaging. Now there are many reasons we self-sabotage but for me, it was all about punishing myself for my past mistakes. Moving forward and hitting my goals would have been rewarding, and I was set on keeping myself “on the hook” for the mistakes I had made.
When it feels like we’re toiling away trying to make progress (and not seeing any), it’s usually time to look inward. I had to dig deep and find some compassion for myself so I could truly forgive myself and move on.
In honor of this month of love, 💚 let’s start with self-love. Let’s find some compassion for our financial mistakes. Sure Ashley, but how?
It helps to look at all the things we have working against us when it comes to money. Most of us are not set up for success. We don’t learn about money and it’s too taboo to talk about, yet we have to deal with it almost every single day. Then, there are the additional challenges women and people of color face.
Anyone in our same position with the same experience, knowledge, and information would have made the same decisions we made.
Everyone makes mistakes. In order to move forward, we have to let go and truly forgive ourselves.
Who’s ready to do that?!
Money Move of the Week
Talk money with your honey. Our spin on V-Day involves money, of course 😂. And while we don’t always want to talk about money with our partners (or we avoid it at all costs 🤮), it’s really important for our relationships in both the short and long-term. So where do we start? Here are some fun prompts to choose from for your V-Day ❤️ dinner. If you’re having dinner with friends, ask them! Or if you don’t have plans 🙋, weave one of these into your next dinner convo.
What’s your first money memory?
What were your parents like with money?
What does money mean to you?
What’s your favorite thing to spend money on and why?
Try to keep it as judgment-free as possible. First one to make a judgmental comment pays for dinner 😂
You Gotta See This
During the State of the Union, President Trump called for paid family leave and few Democrats clapped.
Here’s why. The bi-partisan bill, ‘Advancing Support for Working Families Act,’ was introduced in December by Senator Kyrsten Sinema, Democrat of Arizona, and Senator Bill Cassidy, Republican of Louisiana.
How it works. It would allow new parents to receive part of their future child tax credits early, and in exchange, they’d receive a smaller tax credit for the next ten to fifteen years. It’s essentially allowing parents to borrow from their future selves to pay for their leave instead of creating a new source of funding for it.
Those in favor. Those for the bill say that it’s much better than what we currently have (which is nothing). They argue that it’s likely to pass because it has bipartisan support and doesn’t call for a tax increase (a priority of the Republicans). It also allows parents to use the money for whatever they choose.
Those against. Those against the bill fear that the passing of this bill will slow momentum for true paid family leave, where parents aren’t just delaying their financial stress to later years by borrowing from themselves. Under the Democrat-backed ‘Family Act,’ twelve weeks paid leave would come from an increase in payroll taxes. Average workers would pay an additional $120 per year, but the actual amount would vary depending on income (those earning below $11,000 would pay $22 per year).