Money Musings: a social hangover

Money Musings 💭 a social hangover

Do you get social hangovers? Social hangovers are what I call the feeling after a dinner or get together where you look back on something you said and cringe or wish you said something different. 😱

Sometimes it’s something silly and DEFINITELY not worth torturing myself over. But other times, I think back on it for years to come.

I vividly remember a dinner with a group of friends - it had to be over five years ago and we were talking about parental leave.

​​Some of the details are fuzzy after so many years but I remember I passionately took the perspective that having kids was a choice and a luxury and that leave and company policies should reflect that. Oof.

Learning and unlearning over these past years, becoming a parent myself and with the trauma I’ve experienced, I now realize that this was my internalized misogyny talking.

​​This perspective was reflective of my experience as a woman in investment banking and my experience studying finance in college before that. It’s also reflective of society and the way we treat parents and children.

Birthing and raising a human (who hopefully grows up to be a contributing global citizen) has tremendous societal benefit and value.

​​It’s not reflected in GDP, the way we treat parents (especially mothers and BIPOC mothers) and definitely not in the way we treat children, BUT children are future tax payers, future doctors, future community helpers, and future funders of social security.

​​Just look at the impact lower birth rates have on the economy.

Anyways, I’ve grown a lot since that dinner. And I’m excited to forward this to my friend and put this social hangover to rest.

Have you had a social hangover that's lasted years? Hit reply. I'd love to hear about it. ​

MONEY MOVE OF THE WEEK

INVEST IN ESG INVESTMENTS.

ESG stands for environmental social governance and is criteria used to screen companies for their policies. The idea being that ESG funds are index funds and ETFs that only include companies that meet a certain level of criteria.

​​There are all types of funds. Funds that include companies with strong policies for women and women in leadership (SHE), those with strong racial and ethnic diversity policies in place (NACP), and those with strong ESG policies (VFTAX). Note: these are just examples of funds. This is not investing advice.
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The good news is, your investments can do good while also earning you money. A number of studies are showing that ESG investments are OUTPERFORMING their non-ESG counterparts.
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Now, most 401(k) plans don’t offer ESG investment options (yet) but if you are investing outside of your 401(k), take some time and research. Is there an ESG fund that’s a fit?

YOU GOTTA SEE THIS

WE STAND AGAINST ANTISEMITISM.

There has been a huge rise in antisemitic acts in the U.S. and across the world since May when the Israeli / Palestinian conflict escalated. Jewish hate crimes were already at an all time high and now make up almost 60% of all religious hate crimes in the U.S. (while Jews make up only 2% of the population).

Jews have been physically beaten and assaulted, property has been covered in swastikas, and social media hate has gotten out of control. To give you an idea, in ONE week in May there were 17,000 tweets with the phrase "Hitler was right."

But antisemitism is far more insidious (like all hate) than someone wearing "6MWW" t-shirt, which stands for 6 Million Wasn’t Enough, a reference to the six million Jews killed in the Holocaust or carving swastikas into doors. Most people don’t flat out say "I hate Jews."

It’s in the stereotypes and tropes that villainize Jewish people. It’s in the misinformation and lies that connect Jews "behind a curtain" to the water supply or controlling the media or play into tropes about Jewish people and money. It’s in the BDS movement parading as a noble cause and it is even in being anti-Zionist.

I learned of Natan Sharanky’s 3D test for antisemitism while reading Noa Tishby’s book (more on this below). His 3D method was created to distinguish legitimate criticism of Israel with antisemitism, and was adopted by the US Department of State in 2010.

  • Demonization. Jews and/or Israel are demonized as evil, brutal, murderous, demonic and satanic and are blamed when things go wrong. You see this in comparisons made between Israelis and Nazis.

  • Double standard. When there is a different moral standard placed on Jews and Israel than the rest of the world. For example, if you’re boycotting Israel for something but not another country who is doing the same things or far worse, that’s a double standard.

  • Delegitimization. Anything that delegitimizes Israel or denies its right to exist. This denies the Jewish people their right to self-determination. In the UN Charter it states that "All peoples have the right to self-determination." Side note: All Zionism means is the right to Jewish self-determination. I believe in Palestinian self-determination too.


This antisemitism is horrifying but it’s not surprising. Hate, discrimination and extermination of the Jewish people has been something that has repeated over and over (and over) again in history. And the misinformation I’m seeing shared and spread has only contributed and multiplied this hate. Jews need to be part of our activism.

I am still learning and unlearning and have a long way to go. If you are looking to get more educated on antisemitism, I highly recommend the following accounts:


If you are looking to get more educated about Israel, I highly recommend Noa Tishby’s new book - Israel: A Simple Guide to the Most Misunderstood Country on Earth. While it’s filled with facts and history, she somehow makes it a very digestible and easy read.

This should go without saying but you can speak out against Jewish hate and antisemitism AND believe in Palestinian human rights and the right for Palestinians to self-determine.

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