Money Musings: 💭 When being spendy is good 👍
When I first started my money journey I was very unaware of my spending. And as a result, I spent more money than I wanted to on things that weren’t important to me.
As I learned more (and started The Fiscal Femme) I became a lot more frugal. I saw every dollar spent as its opportunity cost for the future. Most of my spending didn’t make the cut.
Over the last 10+ years, my spending and saving tendencies have ebbed and flowed, but if anyone were to ask I was definitely more of a saver than a spender.
Then this past summer, when I was on vacation with my parents, a moment changed everything.
My vacation was spent 1) chasing a newly crawling M and 2) trying to explain how smoke detectors communicate with one another to E. And while they napped I worked on my book. 😩
I was exhausted. The vacation didn’t feel very vacation-ey at all. 🥴
My mom of course saw this and challenged me to invest in (i.e. spend on) some support for my happiness and well-being.
I had an epiphany. 💡 I was saving for my (and my family’s) future but not investing in the things that would make my life enjoyable in the present.
I decided to make some conscious lifestyle upgrades. We hired a weekly babysitter so J and I could go out together and with friends, we hired someone to come clean the house and I even invested in a meal service a few nights a week so we didn’t have to worry about dinner.
I had the financial privilege and means to make these upgrades in a very conscious way. I became more of a spender and it was life-changing.
Now, conscious upgrades are very different from lifestyle creep. Lifestyle creep is when expenses creep up as you earn more money - usually not in intentional or conscious ways.
You might notice that you get a raise but instead of having extra funds, your spending on dining out has doubled (or who knows what). You most likely don’t even feel like your lifestyle was upgraded at all. I’ve definitely experienced lifestyle creep and it didn’t add much value.
Have you made intentional lifestyle upgrades as your income increased and/or have you experienced lifestyle creep? I’d love to hear about it!
P.S. If you received or are waiting for your tax refund 💸, don't miss my article on what to do with it! I give you a step by step plan to make the most of it. Read it here.
MONEY MOVE OF THE WEEK
CALCULATE YOUR NET WORTH.
Friendly and serious reminder: your net worth has absolutely nothing to do with your worth as a person. It’s just a (fun) way to track progress towards your financial goals.
The equation?
What You Own (Your Assets) - What You Owe (Your Debt) = Your Net Worth
Here’s a handy tool to help you calculate and track your progress.
Once you set up your net worth tracker, set a reminder to update it quarterly. The tracker shows the original balance and the updated balances each quarter. This allows you to watch your progress quarter to quarter.
If it’s fun and motivating to you, you can do this every month at your money parties.
YOU GOTTA SEE THIS
THE DOUBLE BIND AND HOW TO NAVIGATE IT.
Women who negotiate (and studies show women are actually negotiating as much as men) can be viewed as unlikeable and are more likely than men to receive feedback that they are “intimidating,” “too aggressive,” or “bossy.” This is the double bind.
For women of color, this translates into the angry Black woman and fiery Latina stereotypes. Women are told to negotiate, but when we do, there are negative long-term career implications.
As a way to overcome the double bind, experts recommend that women negotiate communally, using words like “we” and “us” and framing your “ask” in a way that shows it’s better for the team and company as a whole. Yes, I’m annoyed even writing this, 🤬 but this is the world in which we’re negotiating.
As a way to give companies the benefit of the doubt and hold them accountable, Claire Wasserman, co-founder and author of Ladies Get Paid, is a big fan of saying, “I know you’re a company that pays people fairly. I know you’re a company that values gender and racial equity, so I’m sure we can come to a conclusion that works for everyone.” And know that you’re making the company better by asking them to pay you fairly.
If you’re interviewing at a new company, you can say this without knowing it’s true (because how can you know?), but if you work there, you’ll want to tailor the statement to be reflective of the reality at the company.