A rundown on the new tipping etiquette

A rundown on the new tipping etiquette.

Are we supposed to tip on everything now?!  

At the beginning of the pandemic there was a big push for generous tipping, as those working in restaurants and stores were putting their health at risk to provide service. Made perfect sense! 

From there on out I noticed that the opportunity to tip became a lot more frequent. The coffee shop, the smoothie place, and even some stores give the option to add a tip at checkout. And sometimes the lowest option is 20%! 

Have you noticed this? 

Unclear of the rules or what's "right,' there's definitely guilt and shame, especially when a friend is looking over your shoulder. Should I be tipping on everything? 

Tipping etiquette has come up over and over again in conversation with friends. There’s a lot of varied data, and a lot of guilt. What should we be doing?!

I decided to look for some answers and found some good news and some bad news. 

The bad news: there isn’t a hard and fast set of rules around tipping. 

The good news: creating a system for yourself - a conscious set of tipping guidelines that you feel good about, can make life a lot easier and remove the stress when it comes time to tip (or not to tip). Plus, we can learn from each other! 

Here’s what you shared: 

Results from a Fiscal Femme Anonymous Tipping Survey.  

Tipping Etiquette Poll - purchase amount or with taxes and fees

QUESTION 2 

If you're splitting a check evenly with a friend at dinner, would you leave a larger portion of the tip if you ordered more than them? Do you expect your friends to do the same? Why or why not? 

  • 67% - some variation of yes

  • 22% - some variation of no 

  • 10% - it depends

Some takeaways from answers here. Of those who said “yes”: 

  • Many shared they wouldn’t split if the amounts ordered were very different to begin with

  • 8% of respondents tip extra 1) just in case their friends don’t tip well 2) they know their friends don’t tip well or 3) they glance over and see that the friend left a low tip 

  • Some like to split the bill and use the tip as a way to even out the bill if someone ordered more / less

  • Around 10% shared that they typically overtip and a handful said that their work in the service industry is why 

Of those who said “no”: 

  • Many shared that it ends up evening out over time, especially with close friends 

  • 4% shared that tip is on the service for the table / everyone so it makes sense to split evenly

Of those who said “it depends”:

  • Many cited situations where everyone drinks except one person as a reason to change tip proportions 

  • Also, if one family has more people (i.e. kids) and another one doesn’t

  • Many discuss tip / payment at the meal before deciding

Tipping Etiquette Poll - separate checks

QUESTION 6

When making an in-store purchase using an electronic tablet (like Square) that offers pre-determined tip amounts, do you feel pressure to leave a tip, or tip a larger amount, even though you may not feel it's necessary?

  • 79% - yes 

  • 15% - no  

  • 6% - sometimes  

This one had PASSIONATE responses.

It seems like most of us are feeling the pressure. Not only to leave a tip when we might not have otherwise, but also to leave a bigger tip. Here are some quotes that stood out to me: 

  • “The psychology of changing it to “no tip” makes me feel bad.” 

  • “I don't like it but it's genius on their part. And annoying to do alt amount.”

  • “Pressure to leave the median - whatever that is.”

Of those who say yes:

  • Many feel like a “jerk” if they hit no tip or feel it’s really awkward - that they are being judged

  • Many feel extra pressure if the person is looking right at them 

  • 5% used the word “hate” in their response 

Of those who said no: 

  • Some left tips anyway and others don’t feel pressure AND don’t leave a tip

  • There were a few who used to feel pressure but now are okay not leaving a tip

  • A handful were grateful for the ease of leaving a tip and not having to figure out the math 

QUESTION 9

Do you leave a tip on delivery and/or takeout? If so, how much?

  • 97% - leave some type of tip on delivery and potentially takeout  

  • 1% - leave no tip on either

  • 2% - it depends 

Of those who leave a tip on delivery, here’s how much they give:

  • A few dollars ($2-3) - 12%

  • $5 - 12% leaves a $5 tip

  • 5%+ - 1% leave a 5%+ tip

  • 10%+ - 18% leave a 10%+ tip

  • 15%+ - 22% leave a 15%+ tip

  • 20%+ - 35% leave a 20%+ tip

  • Some subtract out the delivery fee from their tip

Note: With a $25 bill, 20% and $5 are the same. 

Of those who called out their takeout tip separately, here’s how much they give;

  • Do not leave a tip (but leave a tip on delivery) - 54% 

  • Leave a few dollars - 8.3%  

  • 5%+ tip - 8.3% leave a 5%+ tip 

  • 10%+ tip - 12.5% leave a 10%+ tip 

  • 15%+ tip - 12.5% leave a 15%+ tip 

  • 20%+ tip - 4.2% leave a 20%+ tip

Note: This might not account for the people who tip the same on takeout and delivery (and didn’t call out the difference). 

QUESTION 10

What situations do you feel it's appropriate to NOT leave a tip?

  • 44% of respondents think it’s not necessary to tip for counter service (i.e. for bagels or a donut), if ringing up the items is the only work involved, or if they are doing most of the work 

  • 27% said they wouldn’t tip if service was bad, the person was rude or they felt unsafe 

  • 14% don’t tip at the coffee shop. A few mentioned only tipping for complicated orders (vs. black coffee)

  • Other honorable mentions for where NOT tipping is appropriate: mail carrier, grocery, owners of business (i.e. salons) and salaried employees

A few responses that stood out to me: 

  • “I’m so confused about this at all times.” 

  • “I don’t know anymore. I feel like I tip everywhere.” 

  • “When someone simply does their job, like handing me a soda can. But if there’s the iPad I usually tip anyways.”