Rewire Your Brain for Wealth
In theory we all want to earn more money, right? Who doesn’t? But sometimes we have deep seated beliefs about money that keep us from doing so.
If we grew up being told that having money is greedy or we saw people gain wealth and become selfish, it makes sense we wouldn’t want to have much of it. Who wants to be greedy or selfish?
I’ve seen believing “money is greedy” and believing “money is selfish” play out in two different ways. We either have a hard time bringing money in (earning it) or we can’t spend it fast enough.
When our money beliefs are in conflict with our goals - like building wealth or earning more, it can get really frustrating. It can feel like we’re not making progress no matter how hard we try. No, thank you!
That’s why I interviewed Barbara Huson, a financial therapist, wealth coach and author whose most recent book, Rewiring For Wealth, talks about how to program your brain for financial success.
She shared that “our beliefs are inherited from our family of origin, from the culture we grew up in, and from the school that we went to.”
So how do we change a belief? Here is Barbara’s three step process to train your mind for wealth and well-being.
Step 1: Recognize.
Recognize the unhealthy negative thought that is not serving you. Try to recognize it without judgment or criticism. Recognize it with curiosity.
For example, am I having the thought “I can’t do this?” Interesting.
I know, easier said than done.
Because these beliefs are so ingrained, it can be hard to notice them. If that’s the case (it is for me), Barbara recommends noticing the feeling that comes with. It’s usually a feeling associated with fear.
Hers shows up in the pit of her stomach and the thought it comes with is “I don’t have what it takes.” Mine is agitation and tightness in my throat and chest and the thought that comes with it is “I’m not worth it.”
Here are some common money beliefs I see.
There’s never enough
I can’t do this (handle my own money)
Money makes us evil
Money only comes from hard work and sacrifice
Time is money
Rich people get there by taking advantage of others
I’m not worth it
Having money is greedy
Choose one negative money belief. Or if you can’t think of one, what’s a common negative feeling you get about money. What thought or belief may be behind it?
Step 2: Reframe.
How can you see things differently? This is the new belief or affirmation you want to replace the negative thought with. You’ll notice it doesn’t come from a place of fear.
For example, instead of “there’s never enough,” you think “there’s plenty” or “there’s more than enough.” Instead of “I can’t handle it,” “I can handle that.” I call these money mantras and we want to remind ourselves of them often.
Barbara says “you won’t believe it. And that’s okay if you don't believe it. We didn’t believe our negative beliefs at first either, but we repeated them over and over and they became a belief.”
How will you reframe it? What will your affirmation or positive belief be?
Step 3: Respond differently.
If that affirmation were true, how would you respond? What would you do? Barbara says we need to respond in a way that doesn’t feel typical, doesn’t feel natural and feels scary. This is how we carve new neural pathways.
Barbara shares that changing our money beliefs is simple but not easy. It actually takes “massive effort.” Why? She explains that our neural pathways are strong. “It’s like this giant vacuum cleaner, and it’ll suck you in like a speck of dust.” But if we stay the course, eventually, with time and persistence the reframe becomes a belief and the old belief becomes weaker and weaker.
Step three will need to happen in the moment (over and over) but think back to the last time this belief or thought came up. How could you have responded differently if you believed the affirmation or reframe were true?
Here’s an example of how I used the process.
As part of my “not worth it” belief, I have historically had a tendency to take on projects where I’m underpaid. I justify it with optimism. “You never know what opportunities will come out of something like this” and “It won’t take me too much time.” Can anyone relate?
I received one such opportunity via email right after my conversation with Barbara. I put her process to work.
The email came in from a company that didn’t have much budget to hire a speaker. I went through my old thought pattern - “It is some money. It will only take me X hours. Maybe it will bring about future opportunities with the company.” I felt the tightness in my chest at the thought of accepting the opportunity. There it was. This was about not being worth it, about my time and expertise not being worth my going rate.
I thought about how to reframe it. “I’m worth it” didn’t feel right so I kept brainstorming. “My time is more valuable” felt good. I objectively understood that it’s true but do I believe it fully? Not a chance. Barbara says that’s okay.
Now onto step 3. It was time to respond differently. I hit reply to the email and turned down the opportunity because it’s below my going rate. I felt a combination of relief and terror - “who do I think I am?” I guess this is what Barbara means about the process being simple but not easy! New neural pathways are in progress!