Money is tough for so many reasons: we aren’t taught about it, it’s taboo to talk about, and we derive a lot of our self-worth from our financial status. And that’s just if you’re a white man.
Women and even more so, BIPOC, have infinitely more working against them when it comes to their money. There are pay gaps, investing gaps, accessibility gaps, discrimination - and the list goes on and on.
The tool I use over and over again in my own financial life and with my clients is a budgeting template. Most of us believe budgeting will be limiting and restrictive, but I’ve actually found the opposite to be true both for myself and for the thousands of people I’ve helped with their money.
When we know what we want to be happening with our money (having a spending plan) and then track where our money is going (following through with that plan), it’s actually hugely liberating.
You meet “the one,” decide to spend your lives together, and get married. Months later you find out that your partner has a low credit score, is deep in debt, spends outside of their means, or all of the above. Now you are arguing about money on the daily and are worried about how you’ll ever get a mortgage. How had this not come up before you got married? Why don’t you talk about money with your partner?
How important is our mindset? It turns out, mindset impacts almost every aspect of our lives, from finance to education to equality to corporate culture (and beyond). As a strong believer in the power of mindset, I’m a huge fan of Carol Dweck and her work. Dweck is a professor of psychology at Stanford and a leading researcher in the field of motivation. She’s also the best-selling author of Mindset: The New Psychology of Success.
In her book, Dweck identifies two core mindsets:
A fixed mindset, the belief that one’s abilities were carved in stone and predetermined at birth.
A growth mindset, the belief that one’s skills and qualities could be cultivated through effort and perseverance.
As a major proponent of equality and women getting paid what we’re worth, I hear from my fair share of gender wage gap deniers. These are people who either believe that the gender wage gap doesn’t exist or that there are logical and fair reasons to explain why it does.
I’ve found that many cases of wage gap denying are due to misinformation or lack of information. Regardless of whether you’re reading this because you have your own doubts or you want to get armed with stats to stand up to your sexist uncle during the annual holiday party, I have you covered.
A lot of times we’re doing so many things right in our personal finances, but we’re still not seeing the progress we want. We’ve taken the time to set up a weekly or monthly budget (we may even be using a great budgeting spreadsheet). Everything runs smoothly for a little while, until a larger irregular expense comes up.
I’ve found that sinking funds are an easy and straightforward solution to getting rid of the ups and downs and money stress that come with these types of expenses.
You’re ready to make a plan to pay off your debt. First, you need to know what you have and where. I call this taking inventory of your debt. Next, you’ll prioritize your debt, or decide which debt you should pay off first.
Why can’t I prioritize all of my debt? I get the feeling of wanting to prioritize it all. You want to pay down all of your debt so it’s hard to pick what comes first. When we don’t prioritize, we’re more likely to feel like we’re not making progress.
Before you can make a plan to pay down debt, you’ll need to take inventory of your debt. Taking inventory means knowing what debt you have and some key details about it.
Although this step may sound simple, many of us are afraid to look or feel totally overwhelmed when thinking about it. Facing our debt and the specific details around it can feel like an incredibly intimidating task, but most often, we’ll be less stressed when we know exactly where we stand.
There are expenses in life we can’t plan for and that’s why we have a rainy-day fund. But there are also many expenses that we can plan for and just don’t. The holidays are a perfect example. They come around every year and yet almost half of us get stressed out about money around the holidays. We don’t set up or stick with a holiday budget.
We spend more than we plan or expect. Cash ends up feeling tight, we have to pull money from savings, or we put the extra expenses on a credit card that we have to deal with later. It takes away from this joyful time and ends up causing us a lot of stress.
A coach is someone who helps us create goals, overcome setbacks, and break through the barriers holding us back from those goals. They hold us accountable and are our biggest cheerleaders. Every time I’ve hired a coach for a specific goal, I immediately feel excited and more confident that I will actually achieve the goals I set out to accomplish.
A good financial coach is no different. A financial coach should help us get clear on what’s important to us, set goals that are aligned with our values, and then help us get there. They ask good questions. They create a judgment-free zone. They help us keep going when we fail or make mistakes.
