Money Musings: How to be kind to yourself about 💰
A really important shift I had in my own money journey was learning to have compassion for myself.
Before then, I held a lot of shame for the mistakes I made and for what I didn’t know.
It sucked!
What I've discovered is that there is SO much working against us when it comes to money and personal finance.
The list is long for all people but if you are a woman, BIPOC, have a disability, are part of the LGBTQ+ community or a mother (and more), the list just compounds (intersectionality again).
So I’m going to give you a list.
This list is by no means comprehensive. BUT as you read through, take note of which apply to you. You can even write them down.
Remind yourself of this list anytime money feels like a struggle or you make a mistake.
Here we go....
Most of us never learned about personal finance growing up or even in our adult life
YET we have to deal with money almost every single day
Money is too taboo to talk about - even with close friends and family
We may be the financial first in our family - first to go to college, first to have a W-2 salary, first to have access to a 401(K), etc.
We may have been raised that money is shameful or [insert descriptor here]
It's hard to know where to turn or who to trust for help (people make big commissions to sell us things!)
The jargon and unnecessary complexity of personal finance topics
The shaming educators and "experts"
Money is emotionally charged - it's not easy to be objective (a lot like food)
Companies know way too much about us and use our emotions to sell us things (with multi-billion dollar marketing budgets)
Technology like buying with a click or ordering from our phone makes it easy to not know where our money is going
Systemic racial and gender gaps affect every area of our personal finances
This is compounded for BIPOC women, people with disabilities, the LGBTQ+ community and mothers
This list enrages me 🤬 BUT it also helps me come back to compassion for myself again and again. I hope it does the same for you.
P.S. I want to give you a free chapter of my new book. Just click here to read it!
If you already preordered, you can get a head start on reading. 🤗 Preorders mean A LOT to authors and I am so grateful 🙏 for your support!
MONEY MOVE OF THE WEEK
PRIORITIZE YOUR GOALS.
Prioritizing means deciding which goals come first. Rank each of the goals you listed in last week’s Money Move in order of priority, with the first as your highest-priority goal. Consider which goals are most important to you, what’s most urgent financially, as well as your timeline.
While prioritization is hugely personal, here are some commonly accepted guidelines:
Priority #1: Some Rainy-Day Funds
Priority #2: 401(k) Match
Priority #3: High-Interest Credit Card Debt
Priority #4: Retirement (a.k.a. work becoming optional)
Priority #5: Everything Else
We go into how to prioritize, how much you need for each goal and much more on goals in chapter 3 of Financial Adulting. It’s coming out in 3 WEEKS! You can preorder here.
P.S. Bonus points if you share your top priority goal with one person! Sharing our goals holds us accountable and increases the chances we follow through on the actions we want to take.
YOU GOTTA SEE THIS
DEFINE: THE RACIAL WEALTH GAP.
Mehrsa Baradaran, the author of The Color of Money, explains that there’s a massive racial wealth gap across all income and education levels. The average white family has a median net worth of $188,200 compared with $24,100 for Black families, $36,100 for Hispanic families, and $74,500 for groups of all other races/ethnicities.
These numbers are from before the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic, which disproportionately impacted communities of color financially. Current figures may be worse than this study indicates.
Dasha Kennedy, The Broke Black Girl (who I also interviewed for my book), highlights that the richest 400 Americans have more wealth than all the Black households in the United States combined. That’s the wealth gap.
The racial wealth gap has a long history that started with the enslavement of Black people and when Indigenous People were forced and displaced from their land. I didn’t learn much about this - or other events and policies that have had long-lasting impacts on BIPOC wealth - in school. Here are a few points in history everyone should know about: